The Art of Hospitality (With Screaming Kids & a Messy House)

Christmas is such a wonderful time, a house full of friends and family….. Ahhhhh! Is this true for you? Or is it actually a hellishly stressful time with too many jobs to do? The art of hospitality is something we all end up practising at Christmas. But, if you’re like me, it makes you want to internally scream. In theory I love having people round our house, but the perfectionist in me makes it seem impossible. For no one wants to see the chaos that reigns in our household, right?

Well recently I’ve been feeling challenged by the idea of hospitality, what it means or looks like. In my head, having someone round for dinner should equal; a perfectly tidy house, delicious home cooked meal, Spotify playlist, candles and the kids fast asleep. Now this façade of perfectionism was doable when Daisy was a baby and fell asleep at 6:30pm. But with two children I’d need a small army of helpers to do this. Or you’d need to come for dinner at 10pm. So I decided an alternative approach was needed.

But before I start, I should make a few disclaimers. Firstly, I’m not the world’s greatest chef. And secondly, having people in my house is not something I find easy. I think I want to hide away with a glass of wine and Netflix, but actually I do love having people round.

So here are my top tips for hosting this Christmas and beyond. Let’s explore the art of hospitality:

Keep It Simple

You do not need to cook cordon bleu. When planning a meal, keep it really simple. I’ll give you an example, I recently cooked dinner for my husband and his friends for his birthday. However, I also had to cook for the kids and I wasn’t cooking two meals. So I did a mild chicken and chickpea curry that I could pop in the slow cooker at the start of the day. This is a meal I knew both parties would love. The men just got freshly cut chilli’s to add to their curry to spice it up, plus all the trimmings of naans, poppadoms and sauces. Pudding was a Riverford cheese box. For £19.95 you get five delicious organic British cheeses, including cheddar, stilton and brie. Unsurprisingly it went down a treat! And it was very little work for me. They’ve already sold out of them this year, so I’d strongly recommend getting in early next year.

“In this Instagramable age, we all too easily fall into the trap of thinking our homes need to look and be perfect”

Be Brave

I know this sounds very obvious, but be brave and invite people. Daisy puts me to shame and is always inviting people over, with no thought to the state of our house or contents of my fridge. Last Friday she hatched a plan with my neighbours little boy for a dinner party, which miraculously happened. I ended up serving a very kid friendly prawn satay stir-fry, to two grown men and their son. You know the kind of meal where the vegetables are peas and sweetcorn?! I should point out that this is a family who like their food. Earlier this year they took Daisy and I to The Ivy Club for dinner, point proven. Yet here I was serving dinner, with our washing everywhere and a floor covered with Laurie’s Rice Pops from breakfast that morning. But it was a laugh.

Let Other’s Help

Letting other’s help is something I am really bad at. But when you invite someone over and they ask “What can I bring?” tell them what you need. Don’t be proud, you don’t have to provide everything yourself. Plus you might get a pleasant surprise. That infamous Friday night, I offered wine and my neighbour offered to go get one. I think he’d seen the quality of my food and thought if my wine matched it he was in trouble. Or more likely, he was just being kind. He brought a bottle of chilled Chablis; it was the perfect accompaniment to our kiddy meal.

“I ended up serving a very kid friendly prawn satay stir-fry, to two grown men”

Be Vulnerable

Now I am guilty of thinking that hospitality involves me providing a meal or cup of coffee for someone else. But actually, it’s just the process of opening up our homes. Allowing people physically in, to be a part of our imperfect lives. So it might look like letting someone come and help you. Allowing a friend to come and cuddle your little baby, so you can catch 40 winks. Or cook a meal for you, because you have your hands full with the kids. We live in an increasingly self-sufficient age, but just staying in our little families can make us feel lonely and isolated. I think we need friends and family to thrive.

Don’t be Perfect

I also feel that hospitality, opening our homes to friends and family, is becoming a lost art. In this Instagramable age, we all too easily fall into the trap of thinking our homes need to look and be perfect. But that just isn’t real life, certainly not with children! Real lasting relationships can only be built if we are prepared to be vulnerable, open our homes and build community. And that is what makes the world go round.

I’ve featured a few Christmassy home items in this post which I’d love to tell you about. The butter knives and vase are from a new ethical online homeware boutique called Kalinko. All the products are handmade by artisans in Burma and are designed to give a sustainable livelihood. The butter knives are really beautiful and are made from jade and mother of pearl. And the vase is handblown from recycled glass. Kalinko’s aim is to connect us to the Burmese artisans and they are really transparent about the makers behind each item. The table-cloth is made from fabric from Spoonflower, it’s called Vintage Christmas Floral, by designer twodreamsshop. Spoonflower is an independent design market place, where designs can be printed on eco-conscious fabrics and papers. I’ve previously used their designs to make eco-friendly Christmas wrapping fabric and I’ve wallpapered a door. For 10% off Spoonflower please use code 10n4mummy.

I do hope you have a wonderful time with friends and family this Christmas and that hosting isn’t a stress or strain.

As ever if you have any other tips just let me know xxx

Shop The Edit

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Butter knives | Kalinko

Cheese | Riverford

Table Cloth | Made with fabric from Spoonflower

Vase | Kalinko

_________________________________________________________________________________________

This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Spoonflower, but as always the opinions are my own.