What I’ve Learnt About My Parenting During Lockdown

Parenting during lockdown has been intense. Who’d have thought we’d be spending 24 hours a day, in the same house for weeks on end?

If we’d been told back in February that we’d be with our kids 24 hours a day, in the same house for weeks on end, we’d have thought it a joke. I think we all imagined that home schooling, working, feeding and looking after our kids without any breaks was an impossible task. And yet, because of Coronavirus, that’s exactly what we’ve been doing. (Yes you are all super parents!)

As lockdown is starting to ease, I thought I’d look back on what I learnt about my parenting during this time. Just to give it some context, my husband is an NHS doctor, working at a local London hospital. At the height of the Coronavirus pandemic, he was working directly on the front line. So, I’ve spent a lot of time with our three children, aged 5, 3 & 6 months, alone. Never before has my parenting been so under the spotlight.

Now, I know you’d normally find me writing about ethical fashion, second hand children’s clothes or a gorgeous new Etsy seller I’ve discovered. But please read on, as I’d love to hear your thoughts too.

Before I had kids, I had a clear idea of the type of mother I imagined I’d be. It won’t surprise you to learn that the reality is far from my idealised view. Yet the lockdown experience has really made me stop and reflect on how I behave as a parent. Not that I’m sitting here berating myself for my terrible parenting. I think all of us deserve a trophy and a week at a (child free) spa after this experience. Rather, that this intense period has made me realise that there are attitudes or ways I respond that I should change. Things that would improve my relationship with my children, and generally contribute to a happier home. So here goes, a few home truths that I’ve learnt about my parenting during Coronavirus.

4 Things I’ve Learnt About My Parenting During Lockdown

Messiness

Lockdown has showed me I care way too much about mess. My eldest Daisy is a whirlwind of creativity and ideas. On the plus side she produces amazing artwork and is rarely bored. The downside is that she can destroy a perfectly tidy room in a nanosecond. Pre-Coronavirus, I would plan each day to minimise the amount of time she was at home to destroy the place. Today, she still makes a complete mess. I’ve just become better at getting her to tidy up and take responsibility for where she puts her things. Plus, I’ve become a little more relaxed about the state of my house. Not completely relaxed mind you, epic den building and potion making still have the power to push all my buttons.

Fussiness

Unsurprisingly, I give in way too easily to my kids over food. In the first week of lockdown it became very evident that food that that used to be so plentiful, had become scarce. No longer were there the daily trips to the shops to make sure I had the kid’s favourites in stock. In a way I never have before, I’ve really wanted to avoid food waste. Which has taken the form of ignoring sell-by-dates and encouraging the kids to eat things they’ve never tried before. If you’d told me back in January that my daughter would eat celeriac soup with chorizo I’d have laughed out loud. But she did and she liked it.

Managing the kids

From the moment I got pregnant, I always wanted to be a hands-on mum but also have my own interests/work. It was the reason I quit my job as a fashion buyer, five years ago, and start this blog. n4mummy, has grown and become a money earner for me. (Thank you to all those who have supported me through reading and commenting, I love you.) Yet, with the work/life juggle that every parent has to do, I realised that I was managing my kids rather than being there for them. Yes, during normal life, I do every drop off, pick up and swimming lesson. But it had become more about herding the kids from one place to another. Worrying about being late, rather than enjoying their company. If I’ve learnt one thing about my parenting during lockdown, it’s that I need to spend more time just being with them.

Playing Games

My husband and I always joke that we like to encourage independent play. But I’ve realised that I rarely play with the kids. Making home cooked meals, keeping the house tidy, running my own business and breast feeding a new-born all take up a considerable amount of time. The net result being that I rarely sat down and actually played with them.

Since lockdown I’ve been amazed at how giving each child one on one attention has been so fruitful. Not only do I enjoy spending that time with them, but their behaviour has dramatically improved, particularly from my three-year-old boy. If I’ve just built a train track with him, no longer do I get an epic tantrum because I’ve asked him to clean his teeth. Maybe I need to feed the kids more shop bought fish fingers (sustainably caught fish, of course) so I can spend more time with them. It seems so obvious now I’ve written it down.

Final Thoughts On What I’ve Learnt About My Parenting During Lockdown

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I know that parenting during lockdown is not normality. It’s not always practical to get down with the kids and spend a whole hour transforming your garden into a farmyard (yes we’ve done that). And I also don’t want to say that this lockdown has transformed my parenting, solved all my problems and made me into the perfect mother. Far from it! But this time has really helped to bring into sharp focus, the things that are important in life. We’ve had some highs and lows, but it’s been amazing to see how our family has grown closer. And for me the ultimate take away is, that having a wonderful relationship with my children brings me far more joy than having a beautiful, tidy and instagramable living room.

I’d love to hear from you. Is this something you can relate to? Has lockdown made you stop and reflect on how you parent your children? Do please share your thoughts below.